The Scarred Heart (Wilde Creek Book 5) Read online

  “I thought alphas cared about the pack members?” His voice was thick and rough, his bear clearly riding close to the surface. “How could they let you be hurt when you were young?”

  She knew that was where her low self-esteem stemmed from. She’d realized then how little consequence she’d been to her fellow pack members. Her uncle was a disliked, unpleasant omega, and no one had cared what happened to her until the humans had threatened to expose the pack’s tolerance of child abuse to the public.

  “If I was alpha, I’d throw out the hierarchy,” she said, her voice strong with her conviction. When she was younger, she’d prayed for someone to intervene, but no one had. Not even when her body had been shredded by the belt. “I’d make sure that the weakest ones were the most protected, the most looked after.”

  “In the sleuth, the king is the leader and there’s no hierarchy, but abuse isn’t tolerated. Things are harsh in the sleuth at times, like during the monthly battles, but there’s also a strong sense of community. The king wouldn’t tolerate the kind of abuse you suffered, and neither would any of the males or females. Preying on the young – or watching it happen and doing nothing – is inexcusable.”

  He opened his mouth to say something else, but then snapped it shut. She rubbed her thumb on the underside of his wrist. “What is it, Row?”

  “I hate this place. I hate how you’re treated and what you suffered. Your alpha only cared that your duties were covered. He didn’t even congratulate us on our mating.”

  “Brynn did.”

  He shrugged and his lip curled.

  “I can’t change what I am here. Females are always omegas, and everyone in the pack sees my scars as a weakness.”

  “That’s the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve heard in my life,” he snarled. The fur on his cheeks darkened. “You’re a survivor. In spite of being left to fend for yourself against a madman, you survived. You should be lauded as a warrior, not shunned.”

  She stroked his cheek. The fur was thick and soft, but despite that, it made him seem more dangerous. Not to her, of course. She knew way down in the center of her being that he’d never harm her. Fresh tears surged.

  “What is it, Adara?” He breathed the words softly, his tone filled with worry.

  “You really do want to be with me. You really don’t care about my scars or my past.”

  “I don’t, Kammie. They made you who you are. If you weren’t part of a shifter group where physical scars are considered a weakness, you wouldn’t be an omega. I wish I had known you back then. I would’ve done my best to stop him. To save you.”

  He stroked the tears from her cheeks gently. She was amazed to see both sides of him at the same time, the tender male who touched her as if she were made of glass coupled with the violent male who would slaughter anyone who hurt her, past and present.

  “I want to go home, Row,” she said, nuzzling his palm.

  “Me too, baby.”

  They found her clothes and returned quickly to their vehicles. They hadn’t spoken any more, but they hadn’t needed to. There was a peaceful silence between them, and she needed the time to think. The idea of showing him her scars still worried her, but the bone-deep fear she’d always had of being naked in front of someone wasn’t there. She didn’t want his pity, but she wasn’t sure that he actually did pity her.

  Several weeks ago, she’d had a similar conversation with an omega male named Jeremiah. He’d told her that her scars weren’t a weakness, but she hadn’t believed him. Jeremiah, a shunned male himself because he couldn’t shift, was sensitive to her body issues because he had them, too. But Row wasn’t ashamed of his scars, and when she’d touched the scar on his leg, she hadn’t pitied him either. She’d been filled with white-hot rage toward the male who hurt him. Toward all of them.

  As she parked on the street in front of her house and Row pulled in behind her, she decided that she could move forward with her mate physically. She was already half in love with him because of his protective and possessive nature. Her wolf wanted to slaughter anyone who looked at him cross-eyed. The emotional bond between them would strengthen the longer they knew each other, but the physical pull to her mate was like a writhing creature in her belly, full of need and desire.

  She was tired of being weak, of feeling unworthy. Row’s behavior made her want to be strong for him, but also for herself. She was going to be mated to a strong male, and she didn’t want their children to view her as weak, or to be automatically considered weak because of her.

  She could do this. She would. She would make Row her mate, and he would be the first male to see her completely naked. Fear slithered through her, but she shoved it away. Row was worth it, because the only future she wanted was one with him by her side. They could iron out the details later. For now, she had some claiming to do.

  Chapter 5

  Getting out of his truck, Row shouldered his bag and strode to the driver’s side of Kammie’s small car. She seemed to be lost in thought, wrestling emotionally with something. Fear would tighten her face and then she’d shake out of it, her jaw clenching with determination. She looked at him through the window for a heartbeat, then turned off the engine and pushed open the door.

  Her eyes flashed to the amber of her wolf as she stood, moving close to him so she could shut the car door. The sweet scent of her arousal spiked in the air between them.

  She put her hands on his chest and he could feel their warmth through his shirt. His bear growled in approval as she pressed closer. “I have to make a phone call,” she said. He blinked in surprise, and she smiled. “The sooner I make the call, the sooner we can talk.”

  The way she said ‘talk’ made him hope that she didn’t want to just talk, but perhaps do the sort of naked talking that mates did. He nodded, and she took his hand and led him up the walk to her door.

  She unlocked the door and tugged him inside. He shut it behind them as she walked swiftly to the kitchen and picked up the phone attached to the wall over a small built-in desk. He put his bag down and joined her in the kitchen as she spoke to someone about her duties. He appreciated that she was so dedicated to her position, but he still hated everything that he’d seen so far within the pack. She deserved so much better. Not just because she was his mate, but because she had suffered and was still being held down, constantly reminded that she was less-than simply because someone else had hurt her. He wouldn’t want to be held responsible for someone else’s actions, or to have his scars pointed out to him time and again as if they were a liability. He wished again that he’d met her years ago, when she needed a strong hand to protect her.

  Now, as he listened to her find wolves to take her duties, he wished that she wasn’t part of the wolf pack. If she were part of the sleuth, no one would think anything about her scars. They would see them as a part of her, but not the definition of her. She wouldn’t be held down because of them, but lifted up as a survivor.

  “I covered my duties for two weeks,” she said, coming back into the room. His bear growled in happiness when she slipped right into his arms as if she hated being away from his side.

  “Two weeks?” he said, nuzzling the top of her head and inhaling her scent.

  She tilted her head to gaze up at him. “I didn’t know when we were going to leave for your sleuth or how long we’d stay.”

  Forever. He wanted her to stay in his sleuth, away from her pack, forever. Not that he’d ask her right now, because things were still so new between them, but it was on his mind. He’d said he would come back and work by her side in the pack and he meant it, but he hoped she’d love the sleuth so much that she’d want to stay.

  He wrapped both arms around her tightly and rubbed his cheek against hers. “However long you want, baby,” he said.

  Her hands flexed on his back and she exhaled sharply. A fine tremble wove through her. He lifted his head to ask what was wrong, and was surprised to see that her eyes were a beautiful mixture of brown and amber.

  “
Baby?”

  “Come with me,” she said, her voice husky.

  Clasping his hands, she walked backward slowly, never taking her eyes from his. She navigated the short distance to her bedroom easily, and then stopped in front of the bed.

  “I’m going to,” she said, stopping and clearing her throat. “I want to –”

  As she struggled with the words, Row could see that she was fighting past her fears. He cupped her face and kissed her gently. “Take your time, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

  He kissed her again, savoring the sweet taste of her, then took her trembling hands in his and helped her lift his own shirt over his head. Her nails scratched his skin lightly as she trailed them down his arms. She rubbed his wrists with the pads of her fingers and stared up at him. Her eyes were clear amber, and he knew that she was letting her wolf out to help with her nerves. She exerted a little pressure on his wrists and drew his hands to the hem of her top.

  He lifted it slowly, aware that she was giving him a great gift right now – her trust. With as much care as he could muster, he dragged the shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor. She wore a plain white bra, which was still the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. The swell of her breasts over the satin made his mouth water, and he was dying to tear it off her. She was trembling all over, and he knew why – the scars on her torso were old but vivid. He could almost hear her cries when she was struck, and it made his bear, once more, want to hunt down her uncle and destroy him piece by piece.

  “More,” he said, his voice a low rumble. “I want to see all of my beautiful mate.”

  Her eyes darkened and a smile ghosted her lips. Her fingertips played over the waistband of her jeans and she undid the button and zipper, never taking her eyes from his. When they were on the floor, he reached for his own, but she took over, some of her trembling easing as she stripped him to his boxers and let his clothing land with hers. Her white panties matched the bra, simple but lovely.

  He moved in close and kissed her, nibbling on her lower lip and wrapping his arms around her as she melted against him. He undid her bra and stroked her back with both hands, feeling the ridges of scars under his fingers. She stiffened immediately, but he sucked on her tongue and growled softly, never stopping the movement of his hands, and she relaxed by slow degrees until she was melting into him again. Her hands traced his back as well, finding the scars of his battles and the pain that he’d endured. It was only a shadow of her pain, though. He’d had the ability to fight; sometimes he’d simply not been the best in a match. The odds had been stacked against her from the beginning.

  Her nails grazed his shoulders and they parted long enough for her to let him pull her bra off. Lifting her into his arms, he laid her gently on the bed and stretched out next to her. Her skin pebbled with goosebumps as he laid one hand on her stomach and stroked her hair with the other. He kissed her full lips, delving his tongue into her mouth, and then pressed his lips to her nose and each eyelid before kissing down her jaw to her ear.

  “You’re amazing, sweetheart,” he murmured. She gripped his forearm, her nails digging in slightly, but she didn’t push his hand away as he slowly drew it up her stomach and cupped her breast. Her nipple hardened under his thumb as he rubbed circles around it. She wiggled on the bed, and he smiled to himself. He liked that she was losing herself to pleasure, and that he was the first one to touch her, to see her, this way.

  He kissed down her throat to her shoulder and across her collarbone. Then he leaned over her, pressing her nipple gently between his finger and thumb and tugging lightly. He watched her face as her eyes opened; the amber had receded some, and he knew that she was getting more comfortable with him. Her wolf was slowly stepping back because Kammie didn’t need her as much.

  Lowering his head, he released his hold on her nipple and pecked it briefly before slowly drawing it into his mouth. It was firm against his tongue, tightening further as he sucked on it and rested his hand on her waist, kneading the soft flesh. She inhaled deeply, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders as he left one nipple and moved to the other, licking and sucking it to tight perfection as she wiggled under him.

  He lifted slightly to look at her torso, and the scars that told a story of a ravaged child and a pack unwilling to help. She tensed immediately when he began to trace one of them with his fingertip, but he stared into her eyes and let his finger memorize the shape and feel of it. She relaxed slowly as he moved from scar to scar, touching them and then moving on. He absolutely didn’t pity her. He was sorry for what she’d endured, but she was the strongest female he’d ever met, and he was proud of her for the woman she’d become.

  He moved down her body slowly, kissing and touching his way to the edge of her panties. He looked up and their eyes met, hers so full of raw emotion that he felt as if she were literally offering him her heart and begging him not to hurt her.

  His bear paced, wanting to both cuddle her and ravage her. He hooked her panties with his fingers and slowly drew them down her legs, then picked up one foot and pulled her sock off. Her toes were painted dark red. He kissed her toes and her instep, and she laughed. Taking the same care with her other foot, he ringed her ankles with his fingers and pushed gently, spreading her wide before him as her knees bent and her legs parted. Her pussy was beautifully bare and glistening with arousal. He moved his hands slowly up the outside of her legs, trailing patterns over her flesh until he’d touched every inch of her from ankle to thigh. He bent and kissed her knees, alternating between her parted thighs as he kissed toward her center, loving the way she trembled as he drew near. He inhaled, sorting through the scents that surrounded him and finding no trace of fear – just arousal and passion.

  He parted her pussy to expose the pearl of her clit and flicked his tongue over it. He sucked on it lightly, flicking the tip with his tongue as her thighs tightened against his head. Lifting from the bud, he moved his finger quickly, rubbing it just right as she gasped and writhed under him. Her nipples pebbled tightly as her body flushed and she came, her back arching and her hands clawing at the blanket.

  He slipped his hands under her, cupping her butt and lifting her to his mouth, eager to taste her. Her thighs slid over his shoulders as he tongued her core, lapping and licking, feasting on her as if she were the best thing he’d ever tasted, which she was.

  He slowly lowered her body to the bed, giving her cheeks a squeeze before wrapping one hand around her thigh and pushing it wide. He stared down at her pussy as he slid two fingers into her hot, wet depths. Her pussy hugged his fingers, and he grinned, casting a glance at her to find her eyes bright amber and her fangs peeking from her parted lips as she panted for breath. She was completely aroused, her wolf riding high from her orgasm and her body primed for mating. But he wasn’t done yet. He wanted her to know he would always see to her pleasure first.

  He curled his fingers inside, stroking her soft walls, watching until her body tensed and she gasped. He knew he’d found the place to make her fall apart. Rubbing his fingers over that spot, he moved his other hand to her clit and began to rub the tight bud in time to his strokes inside, driving her swiftly toward the height of pleasure. Her pussy creamed around his fingers. She grabbed hold of his arm with both hands, her nails the dark color of her wolf’s claws as she dug them into his flesh and held on.

  Giving her everything he had, he concentrated on driving her to the edge and over. When she came, she screamed his name so loudly that her voice cracked and tears leaked from her closed eyes. He’d never seen anything more beautiful than his mate coming around his fingers.

  She grabbed his shoulders and tugged, and he let her pull him up her body. She caged his hips with her legs as he planted his hands on either side of her head and gazed down at her. He lowered his head and kissed the tears from her cheeks first and then her mouth. Their lips parted and their tongues met, sliding and dancing together. She tugged on his lower half with her legs, and he grinned, easing from her mouth and smili
ng down at her.

  “Make love to me, Row,” she said in a husky tone.

  He growled her name as he angled his hips and his dick nudged her pussy. He kept his gaze locked to hers as he pushed inside the tight confines of her body. He wanted to close his eyes and savor every inch that he claimed, but watching her eyes glaze over with passion and happiness was far better. Sliding his arms under her as he thrust forward, he held her close while their bodies wed tightly and he buried himself to the hilt. She crossed her ankles behind his back and tugged, her hands gliding over his shoulders as he loomed over her.

  He could’ve stayed there forever, buried deep and unmoving, because the feeling of her soft heat around him was the most toe-curling, amazing thing he’d ever experienced. But more powerful than that was the connection that continued to blaze between them. She was his adara, the perfect mate for him, and this was just the beginning of their lives together.

  He slid out of her slowly, his hands cupping her shoulders to hold her more closely as he pushed back in. Her knees hugged his sides as he began to move slowly in and out. Each push forward made his gums tingle, and each pull backward made him want to roar.

  He began to increase his pace and she held to him tightly, relaxing into his hold as he pushed them both toward release. Her hips tilted, changing the angle of his thrusts, and he felt her pussy clench his every time his body brushed against her clit. He kissed her throat and then sucked on her flesh, feeling her pulse thunder under his tongue as they moved together, thrusting and rubbing and touching. Her thighs tightened on his waist as his fangs emerged, scraping her throat. Bears didn’t mark this way, but wolves did, and he wanted her to have everything that he could give her.