The Bear's Reluctant Mate (Uncontrollable Shift Book Three) Page 5

  It was heady knowledge.

  Putting her empty glass in the sink, she cleaned up in the bathroom and then pulled the mattress out of the couch and got ready for bed. It had been a long and strange day, and she missed Cruz. As she stretched out in bed, her hand rubbed along the empty side of the mattress. She rolled to her side and tucked her hand under her cheek, wishing that Cruz was there. She could imagine staring into his eyes and seeing the secret smile that sometimes curved his lips, the one that told her he was thinking wicked things about her. She wouldn’t deny she’d been thinking wicked things about him, too. How could she not? He was a walking advertisement for a good time. That he was single amazed her, but according to his people’s ideology about mating, he wasn’t attached to anyone because she hadn’t come along yet. It was destiny and luck rolled up in one. If she hadn’t made her way to Rock Creek to meet him, he eventually would have chosen a female bear to mate with, the same as she would have done with a human male.

  As her eyes closed and she yawned, she wondered if that had happened, if she’d never met Cruz, if they both would have felt like something was missing from their lives. A part of themselves they just couldn’t quite claim. With her last clear thought, she decided that was a hell she didn’t want to contemplate, but it would make for an interesting story.

  When she woke a few hours later, her mind was humming with two things – her lion story and the bear she’d left behind. She didn’t know if he was an early riser or liked to sleep in, but because he was alpha and also ran the club, she suspected he didn’t stay in bed too long once the sun was up. After putting a splash of vanilla cream into her coffee, she pushed the mattress back into the couch and righted the cushions, then sat at her little corner desk and booted up her computer.

  While she waited, she sent a text to Cruz.

  Good morning. I hope I didn’t wake you, but I wanted to say hi before I headed into the writing cave.

  He responded immediately, which made her feel warm through and through.

  Morning, sweetheart! I’ve been up since before dawn. Had a little trouble sleeping, my bear kept wanting me to come for a visit.

  It was tempting to suggest he come see her immediately, but she had a feeling if she did that things would move too fast physically, because he was quickly becoming irresistible to her. She kept reminding herself that it was best this way. She wanted to get to know him.

  Aw, sorry.

  Don’t be. I get to see you in just a few days, hopefully it will fly by.

  She hummed and glanced at her email and opened one from Kaylie, asking how the meeting had gone.

  I hope it will, too.

  Are you writing now?

  Not yet, I just sat down with coffee and need to answer an email from my editor before I get to work.

  I hope that talking to my family was helpful for your story yesterday. I realized when you left that I didn’t ask first if you got all your questions answered.

  I did, but if I have more, can I ask you?

  Absolutely. And maybe later when you’re finished working, we can video chat? It would be easier than typing in text, my phone doesn’t like my fingers and keeps trying to autocorrect words for me.

  She chuckled. That would be great. I’ll text you when I’m finished.

  I’ll be here. Good luck.

  Thanks. Talk to you soon.

  She put her phone on the desk and answered Kaylie’s email, explaining the unexpected way the visit to the clan had gone. Even as she typed, she still felt like it was a fantastical story. If someone had told her it happened to them, she would have wondered how much they were embellishing. But here she was, relating the story to her friend and smiling to herself as she thought about Cruz shifting in his office and trying to get to her. When he had finally gotten close and pulled her against him, even though she’d been surprised, she’d liked it. She wished she hadn’t been so intent on getting away from him. Finishing the email to her friend, she answered the few others she needed to, then closed the browser and opened her notebook to the interview with Cruz’s family and set it next to her coffee mug.

  She opened the lion story with the intention of making changes, but she couldn’t make her fingers work. When she’d been on her way to the club, she’d had a clear purpose – find out everything she could about bear shifters and apply it to the story. It had seemed so simple. But now, as she stared at the screen, she didn’t feel like the plan fit her anymore. The words blurred as she stared, and she sat back and rubbed her eyes. It wasn’t that she couldn’t make the changes, it was that she suddenly didn’t like the idea of taking what she’d learned from Cruz’s family and applying it to her fictional lion pride. Oscar, Viola, Tomlin, and Felicity had answered her questions without hesitation, and she felt closer to them because of it. They hadn’t talked to her for hours the day before because she was an author who needed help; they’d done it because they believed she was Cruz’s mate and going to be part of their family.

  A strange feeling settled over her, and she pressed her hand to her heart and smiled.

  She had her own family: her parents and assorted aunts, uncles, and cousins, who got together once a year for a family reunion. Her parents lived a few hours north, and she saw them once a month. Cruz, however, lived in the same home with his parents and brother. Their family was as tight-knit as any she’d ever seen, and they embraced her – an outsider.

  After some thought, she realized that at the core of herself, she didn’t want to write about lion shifters. The idea of taking what she’d learned from Cruz’s family and giving it to the lions didn’t feel right. She looked at the document one last time and closed it. Then she opened a new document as an idea formed.

  Her fingers began to fly on the keys as the overview for a new series took place, and the plot of the first book formed. When she was finished, she smiled in triumph at the screen. She’d structured a series that was an alternate version of shifter history. Instead of taking place in the present, this one went back a few decades and asked the question “what if shifters weren’t known to humans?” To answer that question, the books would be about the first bear couple and their sons finding mates and the complications of a shifter and human forging a life together when the nature of the males had to remain a secret in order to maintain their way of life living under the radar of humans.

  Because she was creating a different world for her bears to live in, she didn’t have to use everything that Cruz’s family had told her. She could use their knowledge as a jumping off point, but her bears would be different.

  By the time her fingers started to ache and her eyes were stinging, she’d been sitting at the computer for hours and hadn’t even taken a break to eat. Finishing her sentence, she saved her work and closed the file, then sat back in the chair with a deep sigh. She closed her eyes and cracked her knuckles, smiling to herself as she thought about all she’d accomplished. The words hadn’t flowed out of her so swiftly since she’d first started writing about vampires. Bears, it seemed, were her new favorite thing to write about.

  Rolling her neck, she straightened and stretched, grabbed her phone, and got up. It felt good to have made such progress with her story. She opened her fridge and realized she hadn’t gone to the grocery like she normally did on Monday mornings because she’d been so interested in getting right to work. She opened the app on her phone for her favorite Italian restaurant and ordered a small pepperoni pizza, breadsticks, and a soda.

  She sat on the couch and opened the video app, finding Cruz’s phone number. The call rang, her excitement and nervousness twining together.

  His sexy face came into view and he grinned. “Hey, sweetheart!”

  “Hi! How’s your day been?”

  “Lonely.” He winked. “Yours?”

  “Not too lonely. I spent most of the day with imaginary friends.”

  He chuckled. “Hold on, let me shut my office door so I can’t hear all the club noise.” He shut the door and then sat on th
e couch. “I gotta say, I have no idea what it’s like for you to be a writer. I’ve never known anyone who writes for a living.”

  “I’m pretty lucky, actually. I can write full-time because I’m careful about my spending. I don’t have a ton of clothes or a big apartment, and I keep my expenses down and save as much as I can. My mom would like me to have what she thinks of as a real job, but all I’ve ever wanted to do is write.”

  “It’s wonderful you can. Clearly you’re good at what you do. I have a question, though.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Why vampires?”

  She blinked in surprise. “I used to read historical romances, and then my tastes changed, and I got into fantasy romance, and I really loved reading about vampires. I used to think it would be cool to be immortal, but after writing about them for so long, I don’t think it would be.”

  “Why?”

  She shrugged. “A lot of my vampires are hundreds of years old and lonely. They’re waiting for their mate, but often they’ve been alive for centuries before he or she is even born. I’d rather have one lifetime with the right guy, then waiting through many lifetimes for him.”

  He hummed and nodded. “I get that. It would be tough to wonder when you’d meet someone, knowing it could be ages.”

  “That’s pretty much why I wanted to switch to writing about shifters. Writing story after story about immortals got tiresome.”

  “I’m glad we intrigued you.”

  She grinned. “You very much did.”

  “How did things go with making changes to your lion story?”

  “Actually, I started a new story.”

  “No kidding? About what?”

  She explained about her alternate timeline for bear shifters, and the family who was taking center stage in the new series.

  He was quiet when she finished talking, and she wondered if he didn’t like the idea. But then he smiled so sweetly at her that if she’d been with him in person, she would have had to kiss him. And maybe climb him like a tree.

  “Juliette, that sounds amazing. There was a point in our history when shifters weren’t known to humans, but it’s been so long that no one ever talks about it. To consider what keeping the shifting nature secretive from humans would do to a family and their offspring… well, I like it.”

  “You do?”

  “Of course!”

  Her heart was going to burst.

  “I’m glad. I wanted you to.”

  “What made you change your mind?”

  “It felt weird to use what your family shared with me for the lions in my book. With this new story, I can mix in the truth so it’s believable without feeling like I’m giving away family secrets. I can make my own ceremonies and rules, but stay true to what bear shifters are really like.”

  “That’s awesome.”

  “Well, I owe you a big thanks for helping me get there.”

  “I didn’t do anything, it was all my family.”

  “If you hadn’t agreed to meet with me, none of this would have happened.”

  “Very true. I’m glad I did. It’s one of the smartest things I’ve done.”

  She giggled and then blushed at the girly sound. She never giggled. The things this bear did to her.

  “Speaking of fate, I have a question.”

  “Of course.” He settled lower on the couch and rested his head on his arm.

  “Do bears only get one mate?”

  His brow furrowed. “Do you mean like if a mated bear lost his mate to death?”

  “Well, yes, but also what if you had a bear and he decided to choose a female on his own because he was lonely and didn’t want to wait to find his mate. Would the person truly meant for him be able to find another mate if hers was taken, or would she be alone forever because he was a jackass and couldn’t wait?”

  He laughed, but then sobered. “The truth is, I don’t know. It’s hard to imagine that the universe would be so cold as to hold one part of a destined couple accountable for the other’s actions in that way, to make one suffer loneliness forever. I don’t want to think it’s true, but it’s possible. There’s no way to know.”

  Her mind flitted over her story, and then back to Cruz. “You believe in fate.” More a statement then a question for him, she’d never really given the word much thought.

  “It’s hard to be a shifter and not believe in fate, particularly when it comes to our mate. You don’t?”

  “I didn’t.” She pursed her lips and then blew out a breath. “Or, maybe I never considered it. Life seems so random sometimes. Leave two minutes later for an appointment and miss being in a terrible accident. Or show up at a bear shifter’s club and watch him shift uncontrollably.”

  “I would say our meeting was definitely fate. We’re hours apart and from different worlds. I’d hazard a guess you never would have walked into a shifter bar on your own.”

  “Probably not.”

  There was a knock on the door and she said, “That’s my dinner. I’m starving.”

  “Oh? Didn’t you eat lunch?”

  “Nah, I worked right through it. Hold on.” She put the phone down on the coffee table and answered the door, accepting her food and drink. After closing and locking the door, she set down her food and grabbed a plate and napkins from the kitchen.

  Cruz was frowning when she picked up the phone. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “I don’t like that you were working so hard that you continued on through a meal. I can hear your stomach through the phone.”

  She blushed and touched her grumbling tummy. “Really? Tomlin said you guys have sensitive hearing but gracious, you can hear it through the phone?”

  “Yes,” he tapped one ear. “I... never mind.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “If I say what I’m thinking, you might think I’m pushing us too fast, and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize what’s happening.”

  Her heart started to beat a little faster. “I won’t. Say what’s on your mind. I value honesty, and if you’re holding something back, then you’re not being one hundred percent honest with me.”

  “If you’d stayed with me last night, and worked today on your book, I would have brought you lunch, and anything else you needed. It’s difficult enough being away from you, without also knowing that you happen to be the sort of hard worker who just puts her head down and works until she’s finished, no matter what you might need.”

  There was something very raw and honest about his words. She could feel the intensity of them and knew in her heart that Cruz didn’t say things he didn’t mean just because they sounded nice.

  “I kind of wished I’d stayed last night. I woke up thinking that this morning.”

  “Just kind of?” he asked, arching a brow.

  She rolled her eyes in thought, thinking over the dreams that had come to her while she slept. Of a big bed and a big bear, and wonderfully wicked things. “I still think it was the right choice for me to come home on my own, because I really do want to get to know you better. But the part of me that wishes I’d stayed with you is getting louder every minute.”

  “Inner voices can be difficult to ignore.”

  “And mine doesn’t even have fangs and claws,” she said with a chuckle.

  “I’ll let you eat your dinner. Will you call me when you’re finished or were you going to work some more?”

  “I think I’ll work a little more, but I’ll call you when I’m done.”

  “I’ll be here.”

  They said goodbye, and the look he gave her as the call ended was hot enough to singe her fingers and make her body heat. She put down the phone and leaned back on the couch with a groan. How could she want a man so badly? No one had ever affected her like Cruz. She looked up at the ceiling and wrestled with getting in the car and driving to the club, but she pushed the thought aside and sat up.

  If she liked him this much after a day, she couldn’t imagine how much she’d like him by Friday. And
when they finally met again, the time they’d spent getting to know each other would be so worth it.

  If she could make it that long, and she wasn’t sure she could.

  Turning her attention to her meal, she turned on the TV and ate, then returned to her desk to work. Another night alone in bed faced her, but she was looking forward to more sweet dreams featuring the dark-haired male with the piercing gaze.

  Chapter 7

  Cruz’s thoughts hadn’t strayed from Juliette the entire day. Particularly after the video chat, when he’d seen her in her home, relaxed with a gleam of excitement in her eyes. It warred with the protective male in him to know she’d been working so hard she hadn’t taken care of herself properly and was hungry. Male bears took care of their mates in every way, and he wanted to take care of Juliette.

  Settling back on the couch, he opened the book app on his phone and picked up where he left off with the second story in her vampire series. He’d read late into the night and had woken up early to continue. He’d never read a romance novel before, but he’d quickly become interested in the world she’d created. He couldn’t believe that he’d ever thought that romance novels were smutty. They were just... sexy and fun. And the males she wrote about were romantic; even the ones who were the most ruthless still had a softer side that was only revealed when they’d found their mate.

  When he finished the book, he closed the app and rested his head back on the couch. His mind swirled over the stories. After reading only two of Juliette’s many books, he’d picked up on a few themes. First, whenever she mentioned flowers, she was always talking about wildflowers – never what he thought of as traditionally romantic flowers, like roses or lilies. The vampire heroes were always rough around the edges at first, but gentlemen to the core, which most likely had to do with their centuries-old age. They all dressed impeccably and put their mates first, and that was definitely a way that bears and fictional vampires were similar.

  He went to his desk and sat down, pulling out a notepad from one drawer. He wrote a few notes and smiled.